Seoul, South Korea
Mmmmm….I can feel the warm sun on my skin and I can smell the scent of lavender and mint in the air. There are voices, not American, it’s Korean. I have to open my eyes so I can see where I am, but it hurt so much to open them, in a raspy voice I call out for Young Min, there was no answer, the voices I hear are not in the same room but just outside the door. My eyes open, only to have blurry vision; I couldn’t make out shapes, it was just bright life. It hurt to talk, it hurt to move and it hurt to see. What the hell was going on? My body was in pain, even so I tried to roll myself and feel for the table only to knock a glass to the floor, which frightened me and caused me to flinch in fear. Footsteps, I can hear footsteps running towards the room, they are coming fast; but why do I feel scared all of the sudden over footstep. I try to slide to the far side of the bed, shaking, not worrying about the pain I feel, just the need to escape.
They stop, briefly and I hear my name called, “Eun Sun” I don’t recognize the voice it’s a woman’s voice. My breathing is erratic, I’m starting to hyperventilate; the woman’s steps are getting closer and the closer she gets the more fearful I am. She tells the person with her,
“Go get Young Min and father now!”
The person with her hurries off, but she remains. God I’m scared to death. She slowly gets closer.
“Eun Sun, it’s okay, you’re safe. You don’t have to be scared.”
She reaches for my hand, but I flinch back shaking my head. She is still trying to coax me to be calm and that I’m safe. I don’t feel safe, I can barely see or move, words hurts, and I don’t know where I am. The woman make her way up the bed beside me, she’s close enough for me to smell her perfume. My head turns to the sound of her voice. She touches my left shoulder, and I try to get away,
“No any no0 Please no!” I’m frantic now and crying trying to escape, but she continues to hold me, sooth me. “I’ll leave, I promise I’ll leave.”
The woman holds me gently her around wrapped around my shoulders, holding my hands tightly.
“You’re safe, you don’t have to leave, and you don’t have to go any where.”
“No…No… she said…said, I can’t stay…oh god please let me go… Young Min…Young Min!!”
More footsteps are coming, rushed, panicky steps, and heavy breathing, my name being repeated, “Eun Sun…Eun Sun!”
It was Young Min, he was running to me, I was trying to feel for him, crying out, and then finally I felt his hands. There was a pause. The lady sitting beside released my arms, but didn’t move. She watched us as well as the other two people that had entered the room.
He pulled me into his arms held me tightly, but then I wanted to push away, so I could feel his face, for some reason I felt as if it had been a long time since we had seen each other, and I still felt panicky, nervous. He kissed my face, held my face in his hands, held more.
“Corbin, it hurts, I can’t see, it’s to bright.”
The woman beside me moved away and I could hear the curtains being drawn closed, and the sun was no longer warming my skin. With shaky hands I touched his face, he had been crying to.
“Eun Sun, the doctor is going to put eyes drops in to clear your vision okay.”
I grabbed his hand.
“I’m not going any where.”
A man I assumed to be the doctor sat beside me on the bed he says,
“I’m Dr. Kim, I need you to please lay back so I can put the drops in your eyes, they should clear immediately, don’t be scared or nervous okay. It won’t hurt.”
I did as he asked me to, I couldn’t help to be nervous. Gently he parted my eyelids and a cool liquid fell into my eyes, three drops for each side. I blinked a few times and slowly I could make out shapes and faces, colors and patterns in the room.
“Is that better?”
How much can you see?”
I was calming down. Corbin wiped my face with a warm damp rag. As I looked around I realized that I didn’t know the three people in the room. The woman looked to be younger than Corbin, may be in her early twenties, which would put her 6 years behind me. Then there was the doctor, he looked to be trustworthy enough, and the older gentleman who looked youthful but gentle had the look of worry on his face. Could this man be Corbin’s father?
He helped me into a sitting position on the bed with pillows propped behind for support; he didn’t leave my side. In all my panic I forgotten that I needed to remain clam for the babies sake, I touched my stomach and noticed that the bulge that was there was no longer there, I looked to Corbin with worry, as to say what happened. His eyes filled with tears and his head went down. The older man says,
“Young Min you to tell her now.”
‘I can’t father.”
“Tell me what, what can’t you tell me.”
I lifted his head to look in his eyes.
“What happened? Please tell me. What happened to our baby?”